BEFORE YOU MERGE
THE COMPANION MANUAL
The Five Conversations. The Signed Commitments.
The structured workbook companion to Before You Merge. Five sections. Five signed commitments. Every conversation most couples avoid — forced into the open before the cracks appear.
Every conversation most couples avoid.
Money
Financial disclosure. No surprises.
Your income, your debts, your money meanings, your spending patterns. The Third Shift Audit forces both partners to see exactly what they're each contributing — financially and otherwise. The Responsibility Map makes the invisible visible. This section ends with a signed commitment.
Communication
How you fight. How you repair. How you stay honest.
Your communication style, your conflict triggers, your repair patterns. The Standing Items Audit structures the conversations you need to have regularly — before they become emergencies. This section forces you to name what you avoid saying.
Intimacy
What you need. What you're not saying.
Physical and emotional intimacy — the dimensions most couples never discuss directly until the relationship is already in trouble. This section creates a shared language for what you each need, and a structure for maintaining it.
Roles
Who does what. Who decides what.
The Responsibility Map in full. Every domestic, financial, and social role mapped, assigned, and agreed. The section that eliminates the resentment that builds when responsibilities are assumed rather than agreed.
Values
What you're building. What you believe.
Your non-negotiables, your life vision, your values alignment. The Life Vision Document forces both partners to articulate what they're actually building together — not just what they're avoiding. This section ends with the final commitment signature.
Designed for two people who are serious.
Read the book first
The manual is a companion, not a standalone. Before You Merge does the explanatory work. The manual forces the application. Complete the book before opening the workbook.
Complete each section independently
Both partners answer every question separately — without discussing your answers first. The gap between your answers is the conversation you need to have.
Compare and discuss
After completing each section independently, sit down together and compare answers. Where you agree, you build. Where you disagree, you negotiate. Where you can't agree, you have information.
Sign the commitment page
Each section ends with a signed commitment. Both partners sign. This is not symbolic — it is a record of what you agreed, what you disclosed, and what you committed to.
The conversations that determine everything.
69 pages. Five sections. Five signed commitments. Print includes free PDF.
Tom Briggs